Kiss frogs, or slay dragons

Deep down each of us secretly craves for a handsome prince or beautiful princess to discover us, no matter how we rate our own attractiveness.

No wonder, women kiss frogs to find a prince charming, while men slay dragons to find a beautiful princess. But neither can hope for such luck in a dating app.

Dating apps suggest your matches within your proximity – up to 80 km radius. Every user ‘right-swipes’ the attractive ones.

In an experiment conducted by psychologist Samantha Joel on college students, 84% of the girls and boys rejected the matches shown to them. Seems neither gender is interested in wasting time slaying dragons, or kissing frogs.

Data collected from dating apps further proves that the most attractive matches receive the most connection requests.

We can safely presume that the more attractive you are, the higher your chances of making it in the top 20%.

Rankings rankle

What happens when we contribute our right swipe to every attractive person on the app?

The less attractive ones face rejection.

If we were to assume that average behavior is closer to Pareto’s Principle – that 20% get 80% of the right swipes – then 80% of the matches shown to users would be left swiped – rejected.

Dating apps keep a record of all the right and left swipes. Their algorithm uses the swipes to rank each user. The higher the rank, the more often that user is suggested as a match. The ranking is quite similar to Google search result ranking, where the most frequently clicked content and links show on page 1. Most of us rarely go beyond the first few pages. This means the higher ranked content stays high, and the content ranked lower gets pushed further down.

Dating apps by their design match the more attractive, though in reality less attractive far outnumber them. Their algorithm fuels every user’s fantasy, furthering their illusion that there is a prince or princess out here made for them. The 77% who score lower on swipes rarely show among these results.

The algorithms based on swipes reduce the chances of the majority finding a match.

Pity.

No wonder majority of the users say dating apps ‘suck’.

Can a dating app find you a compatible romantic partner (42% of dating app users have marriage on top of their minds)?

Says Nancy Jo Sales, award-winning journalist and author of the brilliant book Nothing Personal: My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno, “Dating apps are killing relationships.”

In fact, according to Sales’ research, while 3/4th of the women expect commitment, only a quarter of the men are willing to commit themselves to a relationship.

It’s a conundrum that hundreds of dating apps leave millions of their users frustrated. Because 77% of them are average or below in physical attractiveness.

Has any dating app tried to change that? Hinge uses a detailed questionnaire to profile each user and uses a Nobel Prize-winning Scientist’s algorithm to suggest the most compatible matches based on users’ answers. For instance, someone who loves cats and enjoys hiking and reading would receive suggestions from others who like cats, hiking, or reading. Other apps that use personality to suggest compatible matches include Synced, Birdy, and Happn. But the algorithm in these apps too remains unchanged – users are ranked by swipes. The visibility quotient remains the same, and the less attractive keep getting pushed down.

It’s quite a challenge to find a compatible match you can have a serious relationship. Within or without a dating app. It gets far worse for the 77% who look average or below.